Plutarch
(Ancient History Sourcebook)
1. THE COURSE that ought to be taken for the training of freeborn
children, and the means whereby their manners may be rendered virtuous,
will, with the reader's leave, be the subject of our present
disquisition.
2. In the management of which, perhaps it may be expedient to take our
rise from their very procreation. I would therefore, in the first place,
advise those who desire to become the parents of famous and eminent
children, that they keep not company with all women that they light on;
I mean such as harlots, or concubines. For such children as are
blemished in their birth, either by the father's or the mother's side,
are liable to be pursued, as long as they live, with the indelible
infamy of their base extraction, as that which offers a ready occasion
to all that desire to take hold of it of reproaching and disgracing them
therewith.
"Misfortune on that family's entailed,
Whose reputation in its founder failed."
Wherefore, since to be well-born gives men a good stock of confidence,
the consideration thereof ought to be of no small value to such as
desire to leave behind them a lawful issue. For the spirits of men who
are alloyed and counterfeit in their birth are naturally enfeebled and
debased; as rightly said the poet again—-
"A bold and daring spirit is oft daunted,
When with the guilt of parents' crimes 'tis haunted."
So, on the contrary, a certain loftiness and natural gallantry of spirit
is wont to fill the breasts of those who are born of illustrious
parents. Of which Diaphantus, the young son of Themistocles, is a
notable instance; for he is reported to have made his boast often and in
many companies, that whatsoever pleased him pleased also all Athens; for
whatever he liked, his mother liked; and whatever his mother liked,
Themistocles liked; and whatever Themistocles liked, all the Athenians
liked. Wherefore it was gallantly done of the Lacedaemonian states, when
they laid a round fine on their king Archidamus for marrying a little
woman, giving this reason for their so doing: that he meant to beget for
them not kings, but kinglings.
3. The advice which I am, in the next place, about to give, is, indeed,
no other than what has been given by those who have undertaken this
argument before me. You will ask me what is that? It is this: that no
man keep company with his wife for issue's sake but when he is sober,
having drunk either no wine, or at least not such a quantity as to
distemper him; for they usually prove wine-bibbers and drunkards, whose
parents begot them when they were drunk. Wherefore Diogenes said to a
stripling somewhat crack-brained and half-witted: "Surely, young man,
your father begot you when he was drunk." Let this suffice to be spoken
concerning the procreation of children; and let us pass thence to their
education.
4. And here, to speak summarily, what we are wont to say of arts and
sciences may be said also concerning virtue: that there is a concurrence
of three things requisite to the completing them in practice — which are
nature, reason and use. Now by reason here I would be understood to mean
learning; and by use, exercise. Now the principles come from
instruction, the practice comes from exercise, and perfection from all
three combined. And accordingly as either of the three is deficient,
virtue must needs be defective. For if virtue is not improved by
instruction, it is blind; if instruction is not assisted by nature, it
is maimed; and if exercise fail of the assistance of both, it is
imperfect as to the attainment of its end. And as in husbandry it is
first requisite that the soil be fertile, next that the husbandman be
skillful, and lastly that the seed he sows be good; so here nature
resembles the soil, the instructor of youth the husbandman, and the
rational principles and precepts which are taught, the seed. And I would
peremptorily affirm that all these met and jointly conspired to the
completing of the souls of those universally celebrated men, Pythagoras,
Socrates, and Plato, together with all others whose eminent worth has
begotten them immortal glory. And happy is that man certainly, and
well-beloved of the Gods, on whom by the bounty of any of them all these
are conferred.
And yet if any one thinks that those in whom Nature has not thoroughly
done her part may not in some measure make up her defects, if they be so
happy as to light upon good teaching, and withal apply their own
industry towards the attainment of virtue, he is to know that he is very
much, nay, altogether, mistaken. For as a good natural capacity may be
impaired by slothfulness, so dull and heavy natural parts may be
improved by instruction; and whereas negligent students arrive not at
the capacity of understanding the most easy things, those who are
industrious conquer the greatest difficulties. And many instances we may
observe, that give us a clear demonstration of the mighty force and
successful efficacy of labor and industry. For water continually
dropping will wear out hard rocks hollow; yes, iron and brass are worn
out with constant handling. Nor can we, if we would, reduce the felloes
of a cart-wheel to their formed straightness, when once they have been
bent by force; yes, it is above the power of force to straighten the
bended staves sometimes used by actors upon the stage. So far is that
which labor effects, though against nature, more potent than what is
produced according to it.
Yes, have we not many millions of instances
more which evidence the force of industry? Let us see in some few that
follow. A man's ground is of itself good; yet, if it be not manured, it
will contract barrenness; and the better it was naturally, so much the
more is it ruined by carelessness, if it be ill-husbanded. On the other
side, let a man's ground be more than ordinarily rough and rugged; yet
experience tells us that, if it be well manured, it will be quickly made
capable of bearing excellent fruit. Yes, what sort of tree is there
which will not, if neglected, grow crooked and unfruitful; and what but
will, if rightly ordered, prove faithful and bring its fruit to
maturity? What strength of body is there which will not lose its vigor
and fall to decay by laziness, nice usage, and debauchery? And, on the
contrary, where is the man of never so crazy a natural constitution, who
can not render himself far more robust, if he will only give himself to
exercise activity and strength? What horse well-managed from a colt
proves not easily governable by the rider? And where is there one to be
found which, if not broken betimes, proves not stiff-necked and
unmanageable? Yes, why need we wonder at anything else when we see the
wildest beasts made tame and brought to hand by industry? And lastly, as
to men themselves, that Thessalian answered not amiss, who, being asked
which of his countrymen were the meekest, replied: "Those that have
received their discharge from the wars."
But what need of multiplying more words in this matter, when even the
notion of the word athos in the Greek language imports continuance, and
he that should call moral virtues customary virtues would seem to speak
not incongruously? I shall conclude this part of my discourse,
therefore, with the addition of one only instance. Lycurgus, the
Lacedaemonian lawgiver, once took two whelps of the same litter, and
ordered them to be bred in quite a different manner; whereby one became
dainty and ravenous, and the other of a good scent and skilled in
hunting; which done, a while after he took occasion thence in an
assembly of the Lacedaemonians to discourse in this manner: "Of great
weight in the attainment of virtue, fellow-citizens, are habits,
instruction, precepts, and indeed the whole manner of life — as I will
presently let you see by example." And, withal, he ordered the producing
those two whelps into the midst of the hall, where also there were set
down before them a plate and a live hare. Whereupon, as they had been
bred, the one presently flies upon the hare, and the other as greedily
runs to the plate. And while the people were musing, not perfectly
apprehending what he meant by producing those whelps thus, he added:
"These whelps were both of one litter, but differently bred; the one, you
see, has turned out a greedy cur, and the other a good hound." And this
shall suffice to be spoken concerning custom and different ways of
living.
5. The next thing that falls under our consideration is the nursing of
children, which, in my judgment, the mothers should do themselves,
giving their own breast to those they have borne. For this office will
certainly be performed with more tenderness and carefulness by natural
mothers, who will love their children intimately, as the saying is, from
their tender nails. Whereas, both wet and dry nurses, who are hired,
love only for their pay, and are affected to their work as ordinarily
those that are substituted and deputed in the place of others are. Yes,
even Nature seems to have assigned the suckling and nursing of the issue
to those that bear them: for which cause she has bestowed upon every
living creature that brings forth young milk to nourish them. And, in
conformity thereto, Providence has only wisely ordered that women should
have two breasts, that so, if any of them should happen to bear twins,
they might have two several springs of nourishment ready for them.
Though, if they had not that furniture, mothers would still be more kind
and loving to their own children. And that not without reason; for
constant feeding together is a great means to heighten the affection
mutually betwixt any persons. Yes, even beasts, when they are separated
from those that have grazed with them, do in their way show a longing
for the absent. Wherefore, as I have said, mothers themselves should
strive to the utmost to nurse their own children.
But if they find it impossible to do it themselves, either because of
bodily weakness (and such a case may fall out), or because they are apt
to be quickly with child again, then are they to choose the most honest
nurses they can get, and not to take whomsoever they have offered them.
And the first thing to be looked after in this choice is, that the nurse
be bred after the Greek fashion. For as it is needful that the members
of children be shaped aright as soon as they are born, that they may not
afterwards prove crooked and distorted, so it is no less expedient that
their manners be well-fashioned from the very beginning. For childhood
is a tender thing, and easily wrought into any shape. Yes, and the very
souls of children readily receive the impressions of those things that
are dropped into them while they are yet but soft; but when they grow
older, they will, as all hard things are, be more difficult to be
wrought upon. And as soft wax is apt to take the stamp of the seal, so
are the minds of children to receive the instructions imprinted on them
at that age. Whence, also, it seems to me good advice which divine Plato
gives to nurses, not to tell all sorts of common tales to children in
infancy, lest thereby their minds should chance to be filled with
foolish and corrupt notions. The like good counsel Phocylides, the poet,
seems to give in this verse of his:
"If we'll have virtuous children, we should choose
Their tenderest age good principles to infuse."
6. Nor are we to omit taking due care, in the first place, that those
children who are appointed to attend upon such young nurslings, and to
be bred with them for play-fellows, be well-mannered, and next that they
speak plain, natural Greek; lest, being constantly used to converse with
persons of a barbarous language and evil manners, they receive corrupt
tinctures from them. For it is a true proverb, that if you live with a
lame man, you will learn to halt.
7. Next, when a child is arrived at such an age as to be put under the
care of pedagogues, great care is to be used that we be not deceived in
them, and so commit our children to slaves or barbarians or cheating
fellows. For it is a course never enough to be laughed at which many men
nowadays take in this affair; for if any of their servants be better
than the rest, they dispose some of them to follow husbandry, some to
navigation, some to merchandise, some to be stewards in their houses,
and some, lastly, to put out their money to use for them. But if they
find any slave that is a drunkard or a glutton, and unfit for any other
business, to him they assign the government of their children; whereas,
a good pedagogue ought to be such a one in his disposition as Phoenix,
tutor to Achilles, was.
And now I come to speak of that which is a greater matter, and of more
concern than any that I have said. We are to look after such masters for
our children as are blameless in their lives, not justly reprovable for
their manners, and of the best experience in teaching. For the very
spring and root of honesty and virtue lies in the felicity of lighting
on good education. And as husbandmen are wont to set forks to prop up
feeble plants, so do honest schoolmasters prop up youth by careful
instructions and admonitions, that they may duly bring forth the buds of
good manners. But there are certain fathers nowadays who deserve that
men should spit on them in contempt, who, before making any proof of
those to whom they design to commit the teaching of their children,
either through unacquaintance, or, as it sometimes falls out, through
unskillfulness, entrust them to men of no good reputation, or, it may
be, such as are branded with infamy.
Although they are not altogether so
ridiculous, if they offend herein through unskillfulness; but it is a
thing most extremely absurd, when, as oftentimes it happens, though they
know they are told beforehand, by those who understand better than
themselves, both of the inability and rascality of certain
schoolmasters, they nevertheless commit the charge of their children to
them, sometimes overcome by their fair and flattering speeches, and
sometimes prevailed on to gratify friends who entreat them. This is an
error of like nature with that of the sick man, who, to please his
friends, forbears to send for the physician that might save his life by
his skill, and employs a mountebank that quickly dispatches him out of
the world; or of his who refuses a skillful shipmaster, and then, at his
friend's entreaty, commits the care of his vessel to one that is therein
much his inferior.
In the name of Jupiter and all the gods, tell me how
can that man deserve the name of a father, who is more concerned to
gratify others in their requests, than to have his children well
educated? Or, is it not rather fitly applicable to this case, which
Socrates, that ancient philosopher, was wont to say — that, if he could
get up to the highest place in the city, he would lift up his voice and
make this proclamation thence: "What mean you, fellow-citizens, that you
thus turn every stone to scrape wealth together, and take so little care
of your children, to whom, one day, you must relinquish it all?"— to
which I would add this, that such parents do like him that is solicitous
about his shoe, but neglects the foot that is to wear it. And yet many
fathers there are, who so love their money and hate their children,
that, lest it should cost them more than they are willing to spare to
hire a good schoolmaster for them, they rather choose such persons to
instruct their children as they are worth; thereby beating down the
market, that they may purchase ignorance cheap. It was, therefore, a
witty and handsome jeer which Aristippus bestowed on a sottish father,
who asked him what he would take to teach his child. He answered, "A
thousand drachmas." When the other cried out: "Oh, Hercules, what a price
you ask! for I can buy a slave at that rate." Do so, then, said the
philosopher, and you shall have two slaves instead of one — your son for
one, and him you buy for another. Lastly, how absurd it is, when you
accustom your children to take their food with their right hands, and
chide them if they receive it with their left, yet you take no care at
all that the principles that are infused into them be right and regular.
And now I will tell you what ordinarily is like to befall such
prodigious parents, when they have their sons ill-nursed and
worse-taught. For when such sons are arrived at man's estate, and,
through contempt of a sound and orderly way of living, precipitate
themselves into all manner of disorderly and servile pleasures, then
will those parents dearly repent of their own neglect of their
children's education, when it is too late to amend; and vex themselves,
even to distraction, at their vicious courses. For then do some of those
children acquaint themselves with flatterers and parasites, a sort of
infamous and execrable persons, the very pests that corrupt and ruin
young men; others waste their substance; others, again, come to
shipwreck on gaming and reveling. And some venture on still more
audacious crimes, committing adultery and joining in the orgies of
Bacchus, being ready to purchase one bout of debauched pleasure at the
price of their lives. If now they had but conversed with some
philosopher, they would never have enslaved themselves to such courses
as these; though possibly they might have learned at least to put in
practice the precepts of Diogenes, delivered by him indeed in rude
language, but yet containing, as to the scope of it, a great truth, when
he advised a young man to go to the public stews, that he might then
inform himself, by experience, how things of great value and things of
no value at all were there of equal worth.
8. In brief therefore I say (and what I say may justly challenge the
repute of an oracle rather than of advice), that the one chief thing in
that matter — which comprises the beginning, middle and end of all — is
good education and regular instruction; and that these two afford great
help and assistance toward the attainment of virtue and felicity. For
all other good things are but human and of small value, such as will
hardly recompense the industry required to the getting of them. It is,
indeed, a desirable thing to be well-descended; but the glory belongs to
our ancestors. Riches are valuable; but they are the goods of Fortune,
who frequently takes them from those that have them, and carries them to
those that never so much as hoped for them. Yes, the greater they are,
the fairer mark they are for those to aim at who design to make our bags
their prize; I mean evil servants and accusers. But the weightiest
consideration of all is, that riches may be enjoyed by the worst as well
as the best of men.
Glory is a thing deserving respect, but unstable;
beauty is a prize that men fight to obtain, but, when obtained, it is of
little continuance; health is a precious enjoyment, but easily impaired;
strength is a thing desirable, but apt to be the prey of disease and old
age. And, in general, let any man who values himself upon strength of
body know that he makes a great mistake; for what indeed is any
proportion of human strength, if compared to that of other animals, such
as elephants and bulls and lions? But learning alone, of all things in
our possession, is immortal and divine. And two things there are that
are most peculiar to human nature, reason and speech; of which two,
reason is the master of speech, and speech is the servant of reason,
impregnable against all assaults of fortune, not to be taken away by
false accusation, nor impaired by sickness, nor enfeebled by old age.
For reason alone grows youthful by age; and time, which decays all other
things before it carries them away with it, leaves learning alone
behind. Whence the answer seems to me very remarkable, which Stilpo, a
philosopher of Megara, gave to Demetrius, who, when he leveled that city
to the ground and made the citizens slaves, asked Stilpo whether he had
lost anything. Nothing, he said, for war cannot plunder virtue. To this
saying that of Socrates also is very agreeable; who, when Gorgias (as I
take it) asked him what his opinion was of the king of Persia, and
whether he judged him happy, returned answer, that he could not tell
what to think of him, because he knew not how he was furnished with
virtue and learning — as judging human felicity to consist in those
endowments, and not in those which are subject to fortune.
9. Moreover, as it is my advice to parents that they make the breeding
up of their children to learning their chief care, so I here add, that
the learning they ought to train them up unto should be sound and
wholesome, and such as is most remote from those trifles which suit the
popular humor. For to please the many is to displease the wise. To this
saying to mine Euripides himself bears witness:
"I'm better skilled to treat a few, my peers,
Than in a crowd to tickle vulgar ears;
Though others have the luck on't, when they babble
Most to the wise, then most to please the rabble."
Besides, I find by my own observation, that those persons who make it
their business to speak so as to deserve the favor and approbation of
the scum of the people, ordinarily live at a suitable rate, voluptuously
and intemperately. And there is reason for it. For they who have no
regard to what is honest, so they may make provision for other men's
pleasures, will surely not be very propense to prefer what is right and
wholesome before that which gratifies their own inordinate pleasures and
luxurious inclinations, and to quit that which humors them for that
which restrains them.
If any one ask what the next thing is wherein I would have children
instructed, and to what further good qualities I would have them
insured, I answer, that I think it advisable that they neither speak nor
do anything rashly; for, according to the proverb, the best things are
the most difficult. But extemporary discourses are full of much ordinary
and loose stuff, nor do such speakers well know where to begin or where
to make an end. And besides other faults which those who speak suddenly
are commonly guilty of, they are commonly liable to this great one, that
they multiply words without measure; whereas, premeditation will not
suffer a man to enlarge his discourse beyond a due proportion.
To this purpose it is reported of Pericles, that, being often called upon by the
people to speak, he would not, because (as he said) he was unprepared.
And Demosthenes also, who imitated him in the management of public
affairs, when the Athenians urged him to give his counsel, refused it
with this answer: "I have not yet prepared myself." Though it may be that
this story is a mere fiction, brought down to us by uncertain tradition,
without any credible author. But Demosthenes, in his oration against Midias,
clearly sets forth the usefulness of premeditation. For there he
says: "I confess, O Athenians! that I came here provided to speak: and I
will by no means deny that I have spent my utmost study upon the
composing this oration. For it had been a pitiful omission in me, if,
having suffered and still suffering such things, I should have neglected
that which in this cause was to be spoken by me." But here I would not be
understood altogether to condemn all readiness to discourse extempore,
nor yet to allow the use of it upon such occasions as do not require it;
but we are to use it only as we do physic.
Still, before a person arrives at complete manhood, I would not permit
him to speak upon any sudden incident occasion; though, after he has
attained a radicated faculty of speaking, he may allow himself a greater
liberty, as opportunity is offered. For as they who have been a long
time in chains, when they are at last set at liberty, are unable to
walk, on account of their former continual restraint, and are very apt
to trip, so they who have been used to a fettered way of speaking a
great while, if upon any occasion they be enforced to speak on a sudden,
will hardly be able to express themselves without some tokens of their
former confinement. But to permit those that are yet children to speak
extemporally is to give them occasion for extremely idle talk. A
wretched painter, they say, showing Apelles a picture, told him withal
that he had taken a very little time to paint it. "If you had not told me
so," said Apelles, "I see cause enough to believe it was a hasty draft;
but I wonder that in that space of time you have not painted many more
such pictures."
I advise therefore (for I return now to the subject that I have
digressed from) the shunning and avoiding, not merely of a starched,
theatrical, and over-tragedial form of speaking, but also of that which
is too low and mean. For that which is too swelling is not fit for the
management of public affairs; and that, on the other side, which is too
thin is very inapt to work any notable impression upon the hearers. For
as it is not only requisite that a man's body be healthy, but also that
it be of a firm constitution, so ought a discourse to be not only sound,
but nervous also. For though such as is composed cautiously may be
commended, yet that is all it can arrive at; whereas that which has some
adventurous passages in it is admired also. And my opinion is the same
concerning the affections of the speaker's mind. For he must be neither
of a too confident nor of a too mean and dejected spirit; for the one is
apt to lead to impudence, the other to servility; and much of the
orator's art, as well as great circumspection, is required to direct his
course skillfully betwixt the two.
And now (whilst I am handling this point concerning the instruction of
children) I will also give you my judgment concerning the frame of a
discourse; which is this, that to compose it in all parts uniformly not
only is a great argument of a defect in learning, but also is apt, I
think, to nauseate the auditory when it is practiced; and in no case can
it give lasting pleasure. For to sing the same tune, as the saying is,
is in everything cloying and offensive; but men are generally pleased
with variety, as in speeches and pageants, so in all other
entertainments.
10. Wherefore, though we ought not to permit an ingenious child entirely
to neglect any of the common sorts of learning, so far as they may be
gotten by lectures or from public shows; yet I would have him to salute
these only as in his passage, taking a bare taste of each of them
(seeing no man can possibly attain to perfection in all), and to give
philosophy the pre-eminence of them all. I can illustrate my meaning by
an example. It is a fine thing to sail around and visit many cities, but
it is profitable to fix our dwelling in the best. Witty also was the
saying of Bias, the philosopher, that, as the wooers of Penelope, when
they could not have their desire of the mistress, contented themselves
to have to do with her maids, so commonly those students who are not
capable of understanding philosophy waste themselves in the study of
those sciences that are of no value. Whence it follows, that we ought to
make philosophy the chief of all our learning. For though, in order to
the welfare of the body, the industry of men has found out two
arts — medicine, which assists to the recovery of lost health, and
gymnastics, which help us to attain a sound constitution — yet there is
but one remedy for the distempers and diseases of the mind, and that is
philosophy. For by the advice and assistance thereof it is that we come
to understand what is honest, and what dishonest; what is just, and what
unjust; in a word, what we are to seek, and what to avoid.
We learn by it how we are to demean ourselves towards the gods, towards
our parents, our elders, the laws, strangers, governors, friends, wives,
children, and servants. That is, we are to worship the gods, to honor
our parents, to reverence our elders, to be subject to the laws, to obey
our governors, to love our friends, to use sobriety towards our wives,
to be affectionate to our children, and not to treat our servants
insolently; and (which is the chief lesson of all) not to be overjoyed
in prosperity nor too much dejected in adversity; not to be dissolute in
our pleasures, nor in our anger to be transported with brutish rage and
fury. These things I account the principal advantages which we gain by
philosophy. For to use prosperity generously is the part of a man: to
manage it so as to decline envy, of a well-governed man; to master our
pleasures by reason is the property of wise men; and to moderate anger
is the attainment only of extraordinary men.
But those of all men I
count most complete, who know how to mix and temper the management of
civil affairs with philosophy; seeing they are thereby masters of two of
the greatest good things that are — a life of public usefulness as
statesmen, and a life of calm tranquility as students of philosophy.
For, whereas there are three sorts of lives — the life of action, the
life of contemplation, and the life of pleasure — the man who is utterly
abandoned and a slave to pleasure is brutish and mean-spirited; he that
spends his time in contemplation without action is an unprofitable man;
and he that lives in action and is destitute of philosophy is a rustical
man, and commits many absurdities. Wherefore we are to apply our utmost
endeavor to enable ourselves for both; that is, to manage public
employments, and withal, at convenient seasons, to give ourselves to
philosophical studies. Such statesmen were Pericles and Archytas the
Tarentine; such were Dion the Syracusan and Epaminondas the Theban, both
of whom were of Plato's familiar acquaintance.
I think it not necessary to spend many more words about this point, the
instruction of children in learning. Only it may be profitable at least,
or even necessary, not to omit procuring for them the writings of
ancient authors, but to make such a collection of them as husbandmen are
wont to do of all needful tools. For of the same nature is the use of
books to scholars, as being the tools and instruments of learning, and
withal enabling them to derive knowledge from its proper fountains.
11. In the next place, the exercise of the body must not be neglected;
but children must be sent to schools of gymnastics, where they may have
sufficient employment that way also. This will conduce partly to a more
handsome carriage, and partly to the improvement of their strength. For
the foundation of a vigorous old age is a good constitution of the body
in childhood. Wherefore, as it is expedient to provide those things in
fair weather which may be useful to the mariners in a storm, so is it to
keep good order and govern ourselves by rules of temperance in youth, as
the best provision we can lay in for age. Yet must they husband their
strength, so as not to become dried up (as it were) and destitute of
strength to follow their studies. For, according to Plato, sleep and
weariness are enemies to the arts.
But why do I stand so long on these things? I hasten to speak of that
which is of the greatest importance, even beyond all that has been
spoken of; namely, I would have boys trained for the contests of wars by
practice in the throwing of darts, shooting of arrows, and hunting of
wild beasts. For we must remember in war the goods of the conquered are
proposed as rewards to the conquerors. But war does not agree with a
delicate habit of body, used only to the shade; for even one lean
soldier that has been used to military exercises shall overthrow whole
troops of mere wrestlers who know nothing of war.
But, somebody may say,
while you profess to give precepts for the education of all free-born
children, why do you carry the matter so as to seem only to accommodate
those precepts to the rich, and neglect to suit them also to the
children of poor men and plebeians? To which objection it is no
difficult thing to reply. For it is my desire that all children
whatsoever may partake of the benefit of education alike; but if yet any
persons, by reason of the narrowness of their estates, cannot make use
of my precepts, let them not blame me that give them for Fortune, which
disabled them from making the advantage by them they otherwise might.
Though even poor men must use their utmost endeavor to give their
children the best education; or, if they cannot, they must bestow upon
them the best that their abilities will reach. Thus much I thought fit
here to insert in the body of my discourse, that I might the better be
enabled to annex what I have yet to add concerning the right training of
children.
12. I say now, that children are to be won to follow liberal studies by
exhortations and rational motives, and on no account to be forced
thereto by whipping or any other contumelious punishments. I will not
argue that such usage seems to be more agreeable to slaves than to
ingenuous children; and even slaves, when thus handled, are dulled and
discouraged from the performance of their tasks, partly by reason of the
smart of their stripes, and partly because of the disgrace thereby
inflicted. But praise and reproof are more effectual upon free-born
children than any such disgraceful handling; the former to incite them
to what is good, and the latter to restrain them from that which is
evil. But we must use reprehensions and commendations alternately, and
of various kinds according to the occasion; so that when they grow
petulant, they may be shamed by reprehension, and again, when they
better deserve it, they may be encouraged by commendations. Wherein we
ought to imitate nurses, who, when they have made their infants cry,
stop their mouths with the nipple to quiet them again. It is also useful
not to give them such large commendations as to puff them up with pride;
for this is the ready way to fill them with a vain conceit of
themselves, and to enfeeble their minds.
13. Moreover, I have seen some parents whose too much love to their
children has occasioned, in truth, their not loving them at all. I will
give light to this assertion by an example, to those who ask what it
means. It is this: while they are over-hasty to advance their children
in all sorts of learning beyond their equals, they set them too hard and
laborious tasks, whereby they fall under discouragement; and this, with
other inconveniences accompanying it, cause them in the issue to be ill
affected to learning itself. For as plants by moderate watering are
nourished, but with over-much moisture are glutted, so is the spirit
improved by moderate labors, but overwhelmed by such as are excessive.
We ought therefore to give children some time to take breath from their
constant labors, considering that all human life is divided betwixt
business and relaxation. To which purpose it is that we are inclined by
nature not only to wake, but to sleep also; that as we have sometimes
wars, so likewise at other times peace; so some foul, so other fair
days; and, as we have seasons of important business, so also the
vacation times of festivals. And, to contract all in a word, rest is the
sauce of labor. Nor is it thus in living creatures only, but in things
inanimate too. For even in bows and harps, we loosen their strings, that
we may bend and wind them up again. Yes, it is universally seen that, as
the body is maintained by repletion and evacuation, so is the mind by
employment and relaxation.
Those parents, moreover, are to be blamed who, when they have committed
their sons to the care of pedagogues or schoolmasters, never see or hear
them perform their tasks; wherein they fail much of their duty. For they
ought, ever and again, after the intermission of some days, to make
trial of their children's proficiency; and not entrust their hopes of
them to the discretion of a hireling. For even that sort of men will
take more care of the children, when they know that they are regularly
to be called to account. And here the saying of the king's groom is very
applicable, that nothing made the horse so fat as the king's eye.
But we must most of all exercise and keep in constant employment the
memory of children; for that is, as it were, the storehouse of all
learning. Wherefore the mythologists have made Mnemosyne, or Memory, the
mother of the Muses, plainly intimating thereby that nothing does so
beget or nourish learning as memory. Wherefore we must employ it to both
those purposes, whether the children be naturally apt or backward to
remember. For so shall we both strengthen it in those to whom Nature in
this respect has been bountiful, and supply that to others wherein she
has been deficient. And as the former sort of boys will thereby come to
excel others, so will the latter sort excel themselves. For that of
Hesiod was well said—
"Oft little add to little, and the account
Will swell: heapt atoms thus produce a mount."
Neither, therefore, let the parents be ignorant of this, that the
exercising of memory in the schools does not only give the greatest
assistance towards the attainment of learning, but also to all the
actions of life. For the remembrance of things past affords us examples
in our consults about things to come.
14. Children ought to be made to abstain from speaking filthily, seeing,
as Democritus said, words are but the shadows of actions. They are,
moreover, to be instructed to be affable and courteous in discourse. For
as churlish manners are always detestable, so children may be kept from
being odious in conversation, if they will not be pertinaciously bent to
maintain all they say in dispute. For it is of use to a man to
understand not only how to overcome, but also how to give ground when to
conquer would turn to his disadvantage. For there is such a thing
sometimes as a Cadmean victory; which the wise Euripides attests, when
he said—
"Where two discourse, if the one's anger rise,
The man who lets the contest fall is wise."
Add we now to these things some others of which children ought to have
no less, yes, rather greater care; to-wit, that they avoid luxurious
living, bridle their tongues, subdue anger, and refrain their hands. Of
how great moment each of these counsels is, I now come to inquire; and
we may best judge of them by examples. To begin with the last: some men
there have been, who, by opening their hands to take what they ought
not, have lost all the honor they got in the former part of their lives.
So Gylippus the Lacedaemonian, for unsewing the public money-bags, was
condemned to banishment from Sparta. And to be able also to subdue anger
is the part of a wise man. Such a one was Socrates; for when a hectoring
and debauched young man rudely kicked him, so that those in his company,
being sorely offended, were ready to run after him and call him to
account for it, "What," said he to them, "if an ass had kicked me, would
you think it handsomely done to kick him again?" And yet the young man
himself escaped not unpunished; for when all persons reproached him for
so unworthy an act, and gave him the nickname of Laktistes, or the
kicker, he hanged himself.
The same Socrates — when Aristophanes,
publishing his play which he called The Clouds, therein threw all sorts
of the foulest reproaches upon him, and a friend of his, who was present
at the acting of it, repeated to him what was there said in the same
comical manner, asking him withal, "Does not this offend you,
Socrates?"— replied: "Not at all, for I can as well bear with a fool in a
play as at a great feast." And something of the same nature is reported
to have been done by Archytas of Tarentum and Plato. For Archytas, when,
upon his return from the war, wherein he had been a general, informed
that his land had been impaired by his bailiff's negligence, sent for
him, and said only thus to him when he came: "If I were not very angry
with you, I would severely correct you." And Plato, being offended with a
gluttonous and debauched servant, called to him Speusippus, his sister's
son, and said to him: "Go beat you, this fellow: for I am too much
offended with him to do it myself."
These things, you will perhaps say, are very difficult to be imitated. I
confess it; but yet we must endeavor to the utmost of our power, by
setting such examples before us, to repress the extravagancy of our
immoderate, furious anger. For neither are we able to rival the
experience or virtue of such men in many other matters; but we do,
nevertheless, as sacred interpreters of divine mysteries and priests of
wisdom, strive to follow these examples, and, as it were, to enrich
ourselves with what we can nibble from them.
And as to the bridling of the tongue, concerning which also I am obliged
to speak, if any man think it a small matter or of mean concernment, he
is much mistaken. For it is a point of wisdom to be silent when occasion
requires, and better than to speak, though never so well. And, in my
judgment, for this reason the ancients instituted mystical rites of
initiation in religion, that, being in them accustomed to silence, we
might thence transfer the fear we have of the gods to the fidelity
required in human secrets. Yes, indeed, experience shows that no man
ever repented of having kept silence; but many that they have not done
so. And a man may, when he will, easily utter what he has by silence
concealed; but it is impossible for him to recall what he has once
spoken. And, moreover, I can remember infinite examples that have been
told me of those that have procured great damages to themselves by
intemperance of the tongue: one or two of which I will give, omitting
the rest.
When Ptolemy Philadelphus had taken his sister Arsinöe to
wife, Sotades for breaking an obscene jest upon him lay languishing in
prison a great while; a punishment which he deserved for his
unseasonable babbling, whereby to provoke laughter in others he
purchased a long time of mourning to himself. Much after the same rate,
or rather still worse, did Theocritus the Sophist both talk and suffer.
For when Alexander commanded the Greeks to provide him a purple robe,
wherein, upon his return from the wars, he meant to sacrifice to the
Gods in gratitude for his victorious success against the barbarians, and
the various states were bringing in the sums assessed upon them,
Theocritus said: "I now see clearly that this is what Homer calls purple
death, which I never understood before." By which speech he made the king
his enemy from that time forwards. The same person provoked Antigonus,
the king of Macedon, to great wrath, by reproaching him with his defect,
as having but one eye. Thus it was Antigonus commanded Eutropion, his
master-cook (then in waiting), to go to this Theocritus and settle some
accounts with him. And when he announced his errand to Theocritus, and
called frequently about the business, the latter said: "I know that you
have a mind to dish me up raw to that Cyclops"; thus reproaching at once
the king with the want of his eye, and the cook with his employment. To
which Eutropion replied: "Then you shall lose your head, as the penalty
of your loquacity and madness." And he was as good as his word; for he
departed and informed the king, who sent and put Theocritus to death.
Besides all these things, we are to accustom children to speak the
truth, and to account it, as indeed it is, a matter of religion for them
to do so. For lying is a servile quality, deserving the hatred of all
mankind; yes, a fault for which we ought not to forgive our meanest
servants.
14. Thus far have I discoursed concerning the good-breeding of children,
and the sobriety requisite to that age, without any hesitation or doubt
in my own mind concerning any thing that I have said. But in what
remains to be said, I am dubious and divided in my own thoughts, which,
as if they were laid in a balance, sometimes incline this way, and
sometimes that way. I am therefore loath to persuade or dissuade in the
matter. But I must venture to answer one question, which is this:
whether we ought to admit those that make love to our sons to keep them
company, or whether we should not rather thrust them out of doors, and
banish them from their society. For when I look upon those
straightforward parents, of a harsh and austere temper, who think it an
outrage not to be endured that their sons should have anything to say to
lovers, I am tender of being the persuader or encourager of such a
practice. But, on the other side, when I call to mind Socrates, and
Plato, and Xenophon, and Aeschines, and Cebes, with a whole troop of
other such men, who have approved those masculine loves, and still have
brought up young men to learning, public employments, and virtuous
living, I am again of another mind, and am much influenced by my zeal to
imitate such great men. And the testimony also of Euripides is favorable
to their opinion, when he says—
"Another love there is in mortals found;
The love of just and chaste and virtuous souls."
And yet I think it not improper here to mention withal that saying of
Plato, spoken betwixt jest and earnest, that men of great eminence must
be allowed to show affection to what beautiful objects they please. I
would decide then that parents are to keep off such as make beauty the
object of their affection, and admit altogether such as direct the love
to the soul; whence such loves are to be avoided as are in Thebes and
Elis, and that sort which in Crete they call ravishment; and such are to
be imitated as are in Athens and Sparta.
16. But in this matter let every man follow his own judgment. Thus far
have I discoursed concerning the right ordering and decent carriage of
children. I will now pass thence, to speak somewhat concerning the next
age, that of youth. For I have often blamed the evil custom of some, who
commit their boys in childhood to pedagogues and teachers, and then
suffer the impetuosity of their youth to range without restraint;
whereas boys of that age need to be kept under a stricter guard than
children. For who does not know that the errors of childhood are small,
and perfectly capable of being amended; such as slighting their
pedagogues, or disobedience to their teachers' instructions? But when
they begin to grow towards maturity, their offences are oftentimes very
great and heinous; such as gluttony, pilfering money from their parents,
dicing, revelings, drunkenness, courting of maidens, and defiling of
marriage-beds. Wherefore it is expedient that such impetuous heats
should with great care be kept under and restrained.
For the ripeness of
that age admits no bounds in its pleasures, is skittish, and needs a
curb to check it; so that those parents who do not hold in their sons
with great strength about that time find to their surprise that they are
giving their vicious inclinations full swing in the pursuit of the
vilest actions. Wherefore it is a duty incumbent upon wise parents, in
that age especially, to set a strict watch upon them, and to keep them
within the bounds of sobriety by instructions, threatenings, entreaties,
counsels, promises, and by laying before them examples of those men (on
one side) who by immoderate love of pleasures have brought themselves
into great mischief, and of those (on the other hand) who by abstinence
in the pursuit of them have purchased to themselves very great praise
and glory. For these two things (hope of honor, and fear of punishment)
are, in a sort, the first elements of virtue; the former whereof spurs
men on more eagerly to the pursuit of honest studies, while the latter
blunts the edge of their inclinations to vicious courses.
17. And in sum, it is necessary to restrain young men from the
conversation of debauched persons, lest they take infection from their
evil examples This was taught by Pythagoras in certain enigmatical
sentences, which I shall here relate and expound, as being greatly
useful to further virtuous inclinations. Such are these: "Taste not of
fish that have black tails"; that is, converse not with men that are
smutted with vicious qualities. "Stride not over the beam of the scales";
wherein he teaches us the regard we ought to have for justice, so as not
to go beyond its measures. "Sit not on a phoenix," wherein he forbids
sloth, and requires us to take care to provide ourselves with the
necessaries of life. "Do not strike hands with every man"; he means we
ought not to be over hasty to make acquaintances or friendships with
others. "Wear not a tight string"; that is, we are to labor after a free
and independent way of living, and to submit to no fetters. "Stir not up
the fire with a sword"; signifying that we ought not to provoke a man
more when he is angry already (since this is a most unseemly act), but
we should rather comply with him while his passion is in its heat. "Eat
not your heart"; which forbids to afflict our souls, and waste them with
vexatious cares. "Abstain from beans"; that is, keep out of public
offices, for anciently the choice of the officers of state was made by
beans. "Put not food in a chamber-pot"; wherein he declares that elegant
discourse ought not to be put into an impure mind; for discourse is the
food of the mind, which is rendered unclean by the foulness of the man
who receives it. "When men are arrived at the goal, they should not turn
back"; that is, those who are near the end of their days, and see the
period of their lives approaching, ought to entertain it contentedly,
and not to be grieved at it.
But to return from this digression, our children, as I have said, are to
be debarred the company of all evil men, but especially flatterers. For
I would still affirm what I have often said in the presence of diverse
fathers, that there is not a more pestilent sort of men than these, nor
any that more certainly and speedily hurry youth into precipices. Yes,
they utterly ruin both fathers and sons, making the old age of the one
and the youth of the other full of sorrow, while they cover the hook of
their evil counsels with the unavoidable bait of voluptuousness.
Parents, when they have good estates to leave their children, exhort
them to sobriety, flatterers to drunkenness; parents exhort to
continence, these to lasciviousness; parents to good husbandry, these to
prodigality; parents to industry, these to slothfulness. And they
usually entertain them with such discourses as these: "The whole life of
man is but a point of time; let us enjoy it therefore while it lasts,
and not spend it to no purpose. Why should you so much regard the
displeasure of your father?— an old doting fool, with one foot already
in the grave, and 'tis to be hoped it will not be long ere we carry him
there altogether." And some of them there are who procure young men foul
harlots, yes, prostitute wives to them; and they even make a prey of
those things which the careful fathers have provided for the sustenance
of their old age.
A cursed tribe! True friendship's hypocrites, they
have no knowledge of plain dealing and frank speech. They flatter the
rich, and despise the poor; and they seduce the young, as by a musical
charm. When those who feed them begin to laugh, then they grin and show
their teeth. They are mere counterfeits, bastard pretenders to humanity,
living at the nod and beck of the rich; free by birth, yet slaves by
choice, who always think themselves abused when they are not so, because
they are not supported in idleness at others' cost. Wherefore, if
fathers have any care for the good breeding of their children, they
ought to drive such foul beasts as these out of doors. They ought also
to keep them from the companionship of vicious school-fellows, for these
are able to corrupt the most ingenuous dispositions.
18. These counsels which I have now given are of great worth and
importance; what I have now to add touches certain allowances that are
to be made to human nature. Again, therefore, I would not have fathers
of an over-rigid and harsh temper, but so mild as to forgive some slips
of youth, remembering that they themselves were once young. But as
physicians are wont to mix their bitter medicines with sweet syrups, to
make what is pleasant a vehicle for what is wholesome, so should fathers
temper the keenness of their reproofs with lenity. They may occasionally
loosen the reins, and allow their children to take some liberties they
are inclined to, and again, when it is fit, manage them with a
straighter bridle. But chiefly should they bear their errors without
passion, if it may be; and if they chance to be heated more than
ordinary, they ought not to suffer the flame to burn long. For it is
better that a father's anger be hasty than severe; because the heaviness
of his wrath, joined with implacableness, is no small argument of hatred
towards the child.
It is good also not to discover the notice they take
of diverse faults, and to transfer to such cases that dimness of sight
and hardness of hearing that are wont to accompany old age; so as
sometimes not to hear what they hear, nor to see what they see, of their
children's miscarriages. We use to bear with some failings in our
friends, and it is no wonder if we do the like to our children,
especially when we sometimes overlook drunkenness in our very servants.
"You have at times been too straight-handed to your son; make him at
other times a larger allowance. You have, it may be, been too angry with him;
pardon him the next fault to make him amends. He has made use of a
servant's wit to circumvent you in something; restrain your anger. He
has made bold to take a yoke of oxen out of the pasture, or he has come
home smelling of his yesterday's drink; take no notice of it; and if of
ointments too, say nothing. For by this means the wild colt sometimes is
made more tame." Besides, for those who are intemperate in their youthful
lusts, and will not be amended by reproof, it is good to provide wives;
for marriage is the strongest bond to hamper wild youth withal. But we
must take care that the wives we procure for them be neither of too
noble a birth nor of too great a portion to suit their circumstances;
for it is a wise saying, drive on your own track. Whereas men that marry
women very much superior to themselves are not so truly husbands to
their wives, as they are unawares made slaves to their portions.
I will add a few words more, and put an end to these advices. The chief
thing that fathers are to look to is that they themselves become
effectual examples to their children, by doing all those things which
belong to them and avoiding all vicious practices, that in their lives,
as in a glass, their children may see enough to give them an aversion to
all ill words and actions. For those that chide children for such faults
as they themselves fall into unconsciously accuse themselves, under
their children's names. And if they are altogether vicious in their own
lives, they lose the right of reproaching their very servants, and much
more do they forfeit it towards their sons. Yes, what is more than that,
they make themselves even counselors and instructors to them in
wickedness. For where old men are impudent, there of necessity must the
young men be so too. Wherefore we are to apply our minds to all such
practices as may conduce to the good breeding of our children.
And here
we may take example from Eurydice of Hierapolis, who, although she was
an Illyrian, and so thrice a barbarian, yet applied herself to learning
when she was well advanced in years, that she might teach her children.
Her love towards her children appears evidently in this Epigram of hers,
which she dedicated to the Muses:
"Eurydice to the Muses here doth raise
This monument, her honest love to praise;
Who her grown sons that she might scholars breed,
Then well in years, herself first learned to read."
And thus have I finished the precepts which I designed to give
concerning this subject. But that they should all be followed by any one
reader is rather, I fear, to be wished than hoped. And to follow the
greater part of them, though it may not be impossible to human nature,
yet will need a concurrence of more than ordinary diligence joined with
good fortune.
